I'm not sure what my problem is. I'm not even sure that I have a problem. What I do know is that I have the ability to torture myself mentally, and lack the tools or presence of mind to make myself stop.
All it takes is a little wrinkle, a bump in the right place, somewhere between my insecurity and my ego. Something that touches an expectation of constant comfort or creates a gap somewhere in there, it gets in there and won't come out.
I try to walk away, only to feel like I'm three years old and pouting. I try to shut the door and convince myself I can live without, I can wait until the satisfaction, comfort or expectation comes back. I close off and expect myself to deal, all the while still mentally obsessing.
Could be a problem. Could be the problem that I'm not busy enough to keep my mind off of such things. Could be that I'm too emotionally immature to deal with the problem. Could be my obsessing is the problem. Could be that I can't control my own mind is the problem.
It's definitely a problem.
|baby I love you,|
even if you don't love yourself.
I love you all the time,
no matter what.